Again!!!

I had a super rough day today. Two people from the support team asked me to help them to restore some production files. It happened due to some missing info in production. I couldn't say no as "they" came to me unexpectedly. Besides, if I say no..this is a big issue for our bank..and of course it will harm my name to my superior bosses.

But my team lead insisted that I shouldn't do it. So just imagine how hard my situation was. At the end of the day I did lead them to talk to each other..I didn't do it for the support team as she clearly said no. One thing for sure, my team lead was super mad to me. It's not my fault. I couldn't afford to be blamed for being the main reason not to restore the production files as soon as possible...besides, if this happen it will drag a big issue to the auditor. 

I feel so super xxxx..why should they have some problem that has something to be done with me..urghh..now my team lead is so mad to me. She may think I like to object on her words..

Suddenly, I feel exactly the same way-- super empty--when I was so new..one year ago..when I made the first step in this office. But I think this time worse...seriously it's worse..This is the first time in my career life I feel like this.

Of course I made a joke to my 2nd liner a lot. but actually it just to cover my true feelings and I was about weeping for the whole day. That's why I kept making the joke..so whenever I saw her laughing, I just could hold and hide the tears in the bottom of my heart. But the worst part it makes my heart bleeds very well when I made the joke to some who...hurm..

I'm sort of not interested to deal anything that has any connection between olive and sisters. So I keep myself in such distance from them. Hurm..I may feel like this bcuz I was so super stress with those people today..But when I re think again..it still nice..cuz although I'm in that super empty heart..at least I don't have to deal with any one of them. Some of them  may think I'm that icy.. but seriously I don't mind to mix up with any body but since these boys have so many things to be done with them..so I stay away.

I'm not being so bothered any more on wut they did to me but of course I will never forget. If I close to them that's mean I have to deal with olive & sisters again..which is a super big no to me!

I think I won't be so long in this bank..I'm gonna make a move after  I finish my bond..or at the maximum..after one year from that...