Congratulation

It's been more than 1 week that I didn't write any single post here. My modem was broken till I had to buy the new one. So for the mean time being I was like living in the cave. Huh! It's so bored..so I just watched my favorite korean dramas. Eh...I think I'm out of topic now...ok let's get back the right channel.

My latest ex (lol..don't think I'm that play girl..it's my 2nd after the long term of my 1st bf) is going to get marry very soon. Sigh~~. Congrats to him..I'm hurt but not that hurt as I think I could console my heart a lil bit. To be very honest he's a very nice guy. In the other word he's my Mr Right. Why he left me? It sounds a bit tragic. LOL. 

I know him last year. He's a smart guy..warm heart..non smoker and etc. For me he's 90% perfect. Hurm..something stuck in my throat to express the next words...He left me as I'm 4 years older than him. He found another gal which is younger than him. As a human being I'm totally frustrated as the gal is my friend. 

I told this thing to one of my best friend today. She asked me why I was not fighting for my love. For me the man is the captain & I'm just a sailor. So if he wants me, I don't have to stand that hard to prove how deep my love towards him. The thing that I hate most in this world is forcing. It's not happened to my couple but it's for my friends too. Normally, I'll ask something from my friends 3 times for the most. If I'm being rejected for 3 times I won't come out with the idea any longer for what ever it is.

That's when it comes to my friends..but this is for something that is more serious than that..about my love..my future life..So I don't want to force any body to love me or to be with me. Well, maybe I'll get him if I insisted or make that very hard effort. But for how long the love will be sustained? I don't want to get marry for 5 years..or 10 years only. I think the love won't last long if it comes from being forced. When I'm being with somebody I want it to be forever (my love and my friends too).

Therefore, I never ever want to stand out or make that damn hard effort to win his heart. I want the pure love without any external causes ( such as forces). I want a man that could stand for me..and protect me..It's sad but I think it's the best. He's a good guy but he's not for me..I still believe that the real mr right is out there. 

I used to make a joke to my friend. "He still lost in reading the highway's sign board. That's why he couldn't reach the destination till now on". I'm not searching the mr perfect or super handsome guy but I just want the basic criteria to be fulfilled which are not that hard. Seriously! So, it's fine to be a lil bit late in finding him as long as he's the right one. To be very honest the thing that I consider most is not for myself but it's more on my becoming kids. 

It's related to my bitter memory when I was kid. It's so pain but thanks god I still could survive well although my heart went through a lot of aches. So I don't want my kids to feel the same situation as I was. If I get marry someday, I'm gonna have some children for sure. & I'm not the person that want to bring the new life for sorrow...that's not me indeed. I'll make the other post later to explain this situation as it's complicated.

Back to my ex..he gave me a sms for the wedding invitation few days back. I didn't reply any...Congrats to him...but seriously I want to reply his text but since it's being days..what should I say to him for not replying his text promptly?? I don't want to bring any issue..I just want to make things neutral..but what excuse that I should say???I don't know...